The Benedict Cumberbatch Drinking Game

1While I go about writing the second half of my adventure in Cardiff, here's a drinking game I wrote.  No I have not done it.  I am not a masochist, nor am I 21 years old and full of the ability to recover by the next day.

Warning: you will get wasted doing this in a very short period of time.

THE BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH DRINKING GAME

by AR Carter 

1) KNOW YOUR WHISKEY. Your drink must be a single malt peated Scotch, no exceptions, unless you are female and/or in drag and drinking a girly drink through a straw. Examples: Laphraoig 12 year+, Islay 12 year+, Macallan 18 year, etcetera. Must be Scotch whiskey, made in Scotland, it must be peated, it must be single malt. It is allowed to be on the rocks and cut with water.

As a matter of fact, I heartily recommend cutting your whiskey with water until you know for certain just how much you will actually be drinking, depending on whatever Benedict is acting in. Some of his work like “Parade’s End” will have you blootered in less than half an hour.

2) B IS FOR BRITISH. Every time Benedict utters an archaic British slang term or expletive beginning with the letter ‘B’, you must take a drink. Here is the main list:
Bloody
Bugger(ed)
Bastard
Bollocks
Boring
Bloke
Blimey
Blaggard
Beggar
Blast(ed)
You must take a shot if he uses a ‘B’ alliteration. Ex: “Bookish Bloke”.

3) I SHAN’T BE LONG. You must take a drink every time Benedict uses an archaic English contraction. Examples: ‘twas, shan’t, ’tis, ’twere, ’twill, ’twouldn’t.

4) C IS FOR CUMBERCHINS. Every time Benedict grimaces in disgust and makes multiple chins, you must take a drink for every chin you can count.

5) C IS FOR CHIVALRY. Every time Benedict does something chivalrous for a lady, you must take a drink. Example: opening the car/building door for her, pulling out her chair at dinner, putting her coat on her shoulders, pouring her wine, helping her down from a carriage or railway car etc, offering his coat, kissing her hand.

6) C IS FOR CHATTING (and pleasantries.) Every time Benedict drinks a cup of tea, you must take a drink. And every time Benedict insults someone or rant-monologues in a social setting, you must take a drink. (This is where Sherlock will get you.)

7) C IS FOR CUMBERBLUBBING. This is your slam-dunk:

a) Every time Benedict weeps, you must take an entire shot. This includes glassy eyes and a chin tremble that is hastily canceled with a deep breath and a stiff upper lip.
b) If whatever he is crying about in the storyline is making YOU cry, you must take an entire shot...again.
c) And if something happening in the storyline is making you cry when he isn’t, you must take an entire shot.

GOOD LUCK.